Coyote Ugly (2000)

The breasts

Piper Perabo, Maria Bello, Tyra Banks, Izabella Miko, Bridget Moyanhan

Nudity?

No

The premise

Come into Coyote Ugly, a where the beautiful ‘Coyotes’ dance on the bar and don’t take crap from anyone.

Except…

Well that’s not really a story.  Nor is the bar being threatened by a heartless developer or anything.  It’s almost as if Jerry Bruckheimer just awkwardly shoehorned a bunch of sexy dance scenes into a script about…

The actual story

…a shy songwriter (Perabo) trying to make it in New York.  She only works at Coyote Ugly for about half the movie.  The film could have easily been called “The bullshit degrading job I worked at until I found success at what I actually wanted to do.”

The crescendo

Perabo is intimidated when first entering the bar where Banks, Miko and Moyanhan are dancing, doing tricks, setting the bar on fire and yelling “Look at how crazy sexy cool I am!  What do you think of me now daddy?” 

Also includes

Perabo gives a private striptease to demonstrate what stage fright feels like.  Don’t think too hard trying to figure that one out, Bruckheimer obviously didn’t. 

Beyond the film

Coyote Ugly is a real bar, where, unlike in the movie, all the bartenders are old enough to drink.  Before the film it was one hip place in NY, now it has cookie-cutter franchises across the world.  You can buy the rights to open your own for as little as $50,000.

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